Christmas Day

For those still keeping count, Christmas Day marks 151 days since the surgery. I honestly stopped keeping count, but I added it up today being a landmark holiday.

First of all, Merry Christmas to all of you from my family to yours. We spent the last 24 hours much like we do every year, obviously with some exception. The winter blast that the NW has seen the last week, has put our street virtually impossible to get up and down. I discovered this personally, when arriving with presents yesterday after work. I found my Mom, and my Dad's nurse (Fred) out shoveling a path in the street for our cars to get in. This was a valiant effort, but nothing in comparison to all the neighbors pulling together to shovel tracks for cars to get through. I was out there as well, digging in the cold, thinking the whole time we were trying to get all the neighbors up the hill to their families. After about an hour, I learned that this was not the case. We were digging a path for my Mom to get in and out, should my Dad need to leave in a hurry. I was floored by the generosity of the neighbors....young and old, out digging...for my Dad.

Earlier in the week, he had a "brief" hiccup in which the nurse thought it best to take him to the ER. Turns out, it may just be a mild case of bronchitis...but it cost an entire afternoon sitting and waiting for my Mom, and my bro. But, once again, when they needed a path, the neighbors came to his aide...digging, so that he could get to the hospital. The sand trucks made special trips up his street, that normally does not get touched, because my Mom called and requested service, explaining the situation. We were put "on a waiting list", but received almost immediate attention. Even the neighbors were surprised, until I explained why, that their street was sanded.

The last week has seen the Christmas spirit alive and well. The strength in numbers coming together for one small cause, is astounding. This has been relavent the last 151 days to me. Family, friends, strangers, coming together to follow their hearts and do what is right.

My digging was interrupted yesterday by my fathers request for me to come inside. He wanted to give me his present while Fred was still there. This present, could not have been better timed. All the struggles, all the negative feedback from the doctors, all the shutting down of "keeping false hope", all leading to this moment...on Christmas eve. My Dad's present to his family was taking steps. Both feet, limited assistance, the length of the kitchen.

I hope his doctors may somehow be reading this. You can try to scientifically predict how my father will end up, but he will prove you wrong. You can tell us we have to make a decision after three months, he will prove you wrong. You can tell us that his most significant signs of improvement will be within those first three months, and well....he DID prove you wrong. You can tell us all these things till your faces turn blue, but what you cannot do is account for a man's love and devotion for what matters most in his world, his family.

Merry Christmas to all of you and our sincere love and appreciation.

~The Petrovich family.

Week 5 at home

Very exciting week so far! It's amazing when I take a few days off, and come back to him. It really helps to see the little differences. Well this week, those little differences are huge improvements.

My mom told me he was taking steps, and I have observed these little steps assisting him around the house, but yesterday was different. These were considerable steps, as well as considerable movement in the "bad leg". All of this is still assisted by one of us, or his Physical therapist....but I still was in shock at the difference a week made. His pull ups in bed are not even a struggle anymore. It's as if he's bored with them now, and wants a new challenge. His brother sent some work out bands for him to use, and I am consistently finding new ways for him to work with these to add more of a challenge. His speech is also improving, last night he was able to say "My name is John, my kids are Brad, Matt, and Chris. My wife is Claudia, and she is the best wife in the world". For the most part, this was much more clear than what we are used to.

In my opinion, he is seeing these improvements and getting more and more excited about them. I think we were in a lull there for a bit, where he did not see the improvements, as they were spread out over time.

I installed the new hinges on his bathroom door. "Offset hinges", in case any of you are wondering, will add an incredible amount of space to your existing door ways. They completely take the door out of the opening, and around the casing.

I also ordered some of those "Get a Grip" things off a tv promo I saw late one night. This was my first time ordering anything off the television's "Paid Programming", but they were super cheap, so I got a pair of them...and because I "acted so fast", they threw in a third one. haha.

So, I tested these bad boys out last night, and couldn't believe the strength of each one. The idea is two suction cup ends with a handle between them. I mounted it to the wall in my bedroom, locked it down, and I am pretty sure I could have ripped the wall right off the studs if I wanted to. Incredible little suckers!! So, we will have these in various spots around the house where he can access them to move about.

Overall, a very optimisitic week of what is coming. I can't wait to get back down there tonight.

Week 4 (extended)

A little more info,

He has developed quite the cough in the mornings mostly....but it seems to have progressively gotten worse. We can't quite figure it out, since his temps are good, and there is nothing that shouldn't be in his lungs.

I think it might be a cold cough, but he doesn't agree.

He has gone from a patient that would love for anything to be in his mouth, to one that is getting a little picky of WHAT we put in there. Comical. Last night he asked me for clam chowder WITH pasta. hahaha.

He has been taking little baby steps when he has the support of one of his boys, is pivoting his feet when we need him to, in general...we are seeing much improvement in the legs...which is very exciting. I may have to build him some parallel bars to play on.

Last night he laughed soooo hard about something, that on more than one occasion, I heard his old laugh. His laugh since the surgery has been hard to distinct between his cries and his laughs...so it was nice to hear a familiar sound. We never did get what was so damn funny, but if it makes him laugh, who really cares. Him laughing histerically is enough to make us all laugh.

Laughs are a good switch.

Week 4

Ok, so I know my last post was rushed....and this one is late in getting out, but it's 10 minutes past his beadtime, so I need to cut this short again. I will try to post more tomorrow at work.

All is well...his speech is improving, he is loving his new diet. All the sisters came up and took my Mom out on the town for the day. Just what the doctor ordered. Love you guys....err...girls.

He does pull ups each night and each morning with his one good arm, and I must say...he is doing very well with one arm. You try lifting your body up off the bed with one arm, and let me know how well you do!! lol.

I will try to post more in the morning.

Week 3 at home

So yesterday brought some exciting news. My Dad's number one request since coming home has been food. Four months without any solid food, or liquid other than formula...anyone could relate. But our concerns of his swallowing these substances properly has been our reasoning. Well, the speech therapist gave the thumbs up for "blendarized" foods. I'm not even sure that is a word, but they used it....and it sounds funny, so I'll go ahead and use it. :)

We're starting slow, and most of the food that was on this list, he is not interested in anyway...haha....but his all time favorite, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy WAS on the list, so you can imagine his delight when I walked in yesterday. I almost wonder if he stalls on swallowing just to savour the taste in his mouth for as long as possible.

He has been taking small steps with Brad, which is exciting. These are very slow movements and only when his weight is supported by other means. Speaking of which, the aquatic therapy has been put on hold, since he still has the tube in his stomach.

We spent Thanksgiving putting up Christmas lights and decorating the house...everyone chipped in, and Dad asked for the first of the Christmas music to be played. My brother is putting on a fundraiser X-mas party this weekend, if any of you readers are local and would like to attend. For more info, contact Brad @ b2kbiz@hotmail.com

The event is this Sunday (Dec 7th) starting at 11am and is an all day event. There is an evite posted and he can send you the information upon request.

More later, had to rush this post...sorry.

Week 2 at home

Week One, as I said before, was a transition.

Week Two sees the family transitioning better. The struggles we saw in Week One, are becoming less of a struggle, and more of a fluent series of motions. Thanksgiving will be a little weird this year, since we do not want to tease him on his favorite holiday with all the lovely smells of all the things he loves, but cannot have. So, we will likely just decorate the house in preparation for Christmas, maybe take a drive somewhere with him...anything to keep his mind of mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, etc etc. Personally, I hate eating in front of him. But, a little twist to the holidays never hurt anyone! At least my caloric intake won't be so high this year! :)

I worked with his left leg recently, and to my surprise, it is getting stronger...and with his foot on my chest, I prompted him to "push me away" with his foot....and felt him pushing. This was very pleasing. The arm has movement, but not particularly in the way we would like it too. But, some movement is better than none.

I'd like to spend the rest of this post on my Mom. I've spoken of my worries for her and her piece of mind often throughout this ordeal. She seems so fragile to me, as she is my Mom, but upon reflection of this entire event...she has been the glue for all of us. Now that he is home, she is committed to his care. It is extremely hard work, yet she exudes an inner strength that I can only imagine she got from her own mother...a very VERY strong woman. She redefines "Stand by your man", a characteristic that is extremely rare in this day and age. Her care for my Dad comes like second nature, involving some things that nobody would ever want of their mate. Perhaps that is why her sons are all still single, because none of us can find one like her. Personally, I have known only two women in my long history of dating that I could honestly say would stand by me through thick and thin...and of course I foolishly let them slip away.

My Dad hit gold when he met my Mom. Through all the stress and heartache of everything that has happened since July 28th, she stands her ground. This woman I thought to be so fragile, has more strength than each of her sons combined. I am constantly writing about my Dad and his ambition to get stronger, and recouperate....but I have never really stopped to give props to whom he is fighting to get back to, for without her....I honestly think he would have given up a long time ago. I love you Mom!


Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Be sure to show your thanks, love, and appreciation to the "glues" in your lives. Enjoy your time with your families. If you cannot be with them, reach out and call someone you may have not talked to in a long time. Bury your grievances, bury the past. Reach out and be the bigger person. Not only does it feel good to be hugged, but it feels really good to do the hugging.

Day 115

Chapter Two "Back Home"

Well, I have a new found respect for RN's and Aide's. In home care is no walk in the park. My Mom is taking the brunt of the RN care, meds and such...while my brothers and I tend to his physical needs. It take an entire new kind of patience than was needed at the SNF, or the hospital.

I have the "luxury" of going home occasionally, wheras Brad and my Mom are with him day and night. I quote "luxury", as I miss him when I don't get to see him...it is no luxury to not be there, more of a resting and refreshing of the mind.

We set him up in our dining room, and the first weekend was quite the adjustment. Last night worked pretty well, and I could see us really starting to come together and work as a team...making everything smoother for everyone. Stress is running high, though, on everyone and I worry about my Mom. We do have a regular nurse and aide that stop by to check up on him, but the majority of the watch is our own.

To answer your questions, yes, he does seem happier to be home. I have been teaching him how to get around on his own in the chair, and he is doing very well at that...to the point where I had to make him promise me he would not get in the fridge until cleared by the nurses to do so. He still has to pass his swallow test.

We found an Aquatic Center that has "Wave Therapy", which we hope will help in taking those first steps.

All the nurses from the SNF miss my Dad, and have even commented that work is not the same without "Superman" around.

Donations and gifts continue to come in, in one form or another...and although it may be a little redundant at this point...I just cannot thank you enough. Those of you that are close to the family, I encourage you to mail, email, or call my Mom and continue to give her strength and perhaps a laugh or two....though the comedian in my Dad has not been hindered. He is alive and well, and despite what is going on...he continues to entertain his family and protect us from any pain.

We are officially at 4000 hits to the site. I never thought this would reach so many. Continue to read, as I will continue to write.

Much Love,
The Petrovich family.

Friday November 14th. "Home at last"

110 days and a few hours ago my Dad started this journey. This decision that would change his life and that of his family forever. 110 days ago he woke up much like he always would, perhaps a little more nervous than most mornings, but you wouldn't know if you saw him. He was more excited about hearing the positive results after the surgery. I was not there, but I can imagine he patted Jack on the head, and said "Be a good boy, Jack". The trip to the hospital was rather calm, according to my Mom. I would love to have known what was going through his head at that moment. Did he pay extra attention to the summer leaves on the trees? The sound of the birds chirping? The gorgeous blue summer sky? The smell of the fresh flowers cascading through their front yard? I am sure he took for granted the simple things, as we all do, that he now struggles with each day.

111 days ago was the last time I heard his voice, that voice I had grown accustomed to for the last 36 years (aside from the night I called my Mom at home and heard his voice on the answering machine.). I recall times sitting at work when my father would call me just to talk, and I would "scold" him from doing this, as it was distracting me from work. I would do anything for my phone to ring and hear his voice again.

I just called my Mom, and he is finally settled (back in his leather chair) at home. The ramp worked wonderfully, I was told. Jack is running around like a mad man dog....refusing to settle down. We have been training my Dad the last few weeks to say the words "Bad Dog!", as I am sure Jack has developed some bad habits since my Dad has been gone.

Before I leave, I wanted to make a small note of something completely bizarre that happened a few days ago while at his nursing facility. We gave him a dry erase board and a marker to write stuff down when he was either too tired to talk, or we could not understand him. I came into his room the other night, and he began writing sideways. As in, the letters. So imagine a map...you have North & South, and East & West. While all of us typically write "West to East", he decided to write out an entire sentence "South to North"....and quite effieciently and legible, I might add.

I asked him why he did this, and again "South to North" he wrote, "I don't know". Then he asked me to write something. I said what do you want? He told me, "anything"....so being a smart ass, I wrote "Anything". I was standing in front of him with the board between us, so that everything he normally writes would be upside down for me....so he grabs the marker and writes the word "anything" upside down to him, and right side up for me....again quite efficiently AND legible. I was dumbfounded. I told him to do it again, so he writes all his letters backwards going East to West. I asked him who taught him to do this, he said no one....and no one has seen him do this before. Finally he started writing West to East (left to right) again, and things went on as normal. Human behavior is just so bizarre sometimes.

Anyway....

My Dad is home.

Thursday (Day 101)

NOVEMBER 14TH!!!!!

Big day! Pops comes home!!!!

He has been very alert these days, and constantly asking to go to the casino, or for something to eat, or for some chocolate...it's hard to say no. He insists that he is ready, but we are hesitant.

Home life will be interesting now. Brad and my Mom will be there full time with him, with assisted help that my Mom is currently looking into. Matt and I will be splitting the week staying down at their place to help out however we can.

Halloween was fun....if you have been reading, you will know that my Dad refers to himself as Superman from time to time, so I rented him a red cape and my Mom had a necklace made with a metallic Superman logo. He had a bag of candy that he distributed to all his nurses, and their children.

They FINALLY put a DVD player in his room, after months of waiting. So, now a typical schedule is PT in the morning with Matt and/or Brad. (typically followed by a nap). Afternoons with my Mom. Evening 'workouts' with Brad and I, then a movie to cap the day. His writing and speech are getting noticably better...though we have noticed brief occurances of what seems to be a bit of confusion. I have not personally seen this, but it has been seen and we are keeping an eye on it.

I can't believe this weather. We just happen to have had the last bit of summer when throwing this ramp together for my Dad. It has been nothing but rain and frigid temps since then....but the sun shined wonderfully on that weekend. I find this strangely coincidental.

Brad and I will be preparing his new room this weekend. I can't wait till we don't have to go to that place he is at anymore. His nurses will miss him, and we will miss some of them, but the area is just not pleasant, and I worry about my Mom leaving there at night. One more week!!!

One more thing....thank you all for these wonderful comments!!!!! I will read them to him the first chance I get!

Wednesday (Day 94)

"I didn't have a choice"

These were the words my father spoke, as tears ran down his face when I read my last blog entry to him.

This last weekend was especially emotional for him. We had several family members come up for our little deck project. 24 hours saw a grassy backyard turn into a creative ramp in preparation for my father's return home. So, unable to help out with home improvements, knowing everyone is helping out for him, not being able to join in the fun, and hearing old memories over dinner....all of which led to a very sad poppa. Sooo, Monday night he asked me to read him some posts from here, and wanted to leave another post in his words. He started from the beginning, back at the Hospital. "I've got good news and bad news", he said....and as he continued to spell out his words, I realized where he was going. I stopped him soon after, and told him everyone already knows what happened, and that they need an update.

He then went into "thank you all for your support...." then stopped and asked me to read. I got two sentences in, when he lost it. I told him he has much to be proud of, and his courage is astounding. He told me "I had no choice". To which I replied,
"Of course you had a choice....everyone has choices!" "You could have done nothing."

He had an interesting visitor earlier this week....which couldn't have been better timed, given this funk he was in over the weekend. I took him on our regular stroll through the parking lot to the end of the street so he can get a glimpse of the sunset and Puget Sound. On the way there, I noticed three young ladies walking down the hill past the driveway we were on. Keep in mind, this is NOT the best neighborhood he is in, and 90% of the ladies walking the streets around here are "working". I steered clear of them, and parked his wheelchair on the upward half of the driveway, giving him the best view...when I hear "Sir??" I turned around to see one of these ladies walking back up the hill towards us. I turned to my Dad thinking "Great!! Here we go!"...thinking she is going to ask for money. Of course, my next thought was how disrespectful people can be. CLEARLY this is a special moment between a father and his son. For the record, I hate that these were my initial thoughts.

After walking all the way back up the hill to us, she introduced herself, then walked very tenderly towards my Dad and reached for his hand. She worked across the street at the church, and asked if I would be willing to bring him in on a Sunday for some healing. She held his hand and proceeded with an amazing prayer, at one point screaming to the heavens with tears in her eyes. I looked at my Dad, and he was alllllllll ears. He said "thank you" about a million times to her. She insisted that he stay strong, and NOT lose faith....that he WILL walk again. I was just waiting for my Dad to break down in tears again, but he didn't. It was a very surreal moment, I must say. I thanked her for her time, and her thoughtfulness. It was getting cold, so we said goodbye, and I proceeded to get him indoors. I asked him what he thought about that, and he said "Pretty cool".

Pretty cool indeed. He has had a new found strength this week, I have noticed....and is admittantly trying to rush the healing. Brad said he had a great workout with the Parallel bars, and the speech therapist gave my Mom some exercises to work with him in efforts to work on the swallowing. Everyone has been working so hard in their own ways. My father will be proud to read of all of your efforts! Thank you everyone. I will post some more pics right away! :)

Wednesday (Day 87)

Ok, so I missed a couple posts last week. It's been a little chaotic between work, SNF visits, and coordinating the work on the house this weekend. We are planning on bringing him home at the month, thus making some modifications to the house. I will post some pics when this is complete.

Well, I think it's safe to say that three days from now, we will not have to make "the decision" the doctors originally thought we would have to make. Though I can't even begin to imagine what is going through my fathers head right now, I know that he does not want to leave us. We can hardly keep up with him these days. I get up, get to work, then go see him and all he wants to do is go to the gym!! HA! I just want to relax!!! haha. But I love this enthusiasm in him...I just wish I knew more about rehabilitating a person. He even gave Brad and I a two month goal to be walking!! I told him that is A LOT of work, but I am game.

I recently was in transit from visiting him, to my house...and I went into deep thought, as I tend to do. I thought to myself, having a tremor as well, if I would have the same courage as he did if it came down to it. Knowing what I know now....if I had to get this same surgery as he did, would I have the courage to do so....knowing what could possibly happen? Would I have the same loving family that would look after me, as we do for him? That man has a wealth in family love, that no other resident in that facility has. There is one woman in there, that has more money than she knows what to do with....so she pays upwards to $100K a year to stay there, and has been there for two years they say. But, I have only seen one visitor for her since we started coming there. My Dad has a minimum of four visitors a DAY. Asking for donations, and raising money for him is a very humbling act, and it is even more humbling for him to accept them...but one thing he will never have to do is "ask" for love. So who is better off? The woman who doesn't have to worry about money, who's remaining family members fight over inheritance, and hardly visit her? Or the Man at the other end of the hall that is "getting by", but has unlimited support and compassion? Makes one think what is REALLY important in the whole scheme of things. Ideally, we all want the best of both worlds, but if you had to pick....?

That concludes my deep thought of the day. :)


We have several people coming forward to help out however they can. We have a variety of events in the works for the New Year in my Dad's name. Hopefully, we can have him attend one or more so that everyone can see what their thoughtfulness and prayers have accomplished. He is quite the entertainer these days, though limited. God help us when he gets his speech back. haha.

Tuesday (Day 79)

Tuesday was a big day for my Dad. It was arranged to take him out to Bellevue to get a test done that would show the doctors how his swallowing has progressed. He has been better at the frequency of his swallows, but there was concern as to where he is swallowing to. The test feeds him a variety of substances that all show up on x-ray. Sadly, he did not fair well, but the doctor gave us a series of tests to work with him on, that will strengthen his throat for next time. When my Mom got him back to his room, he apologized to her, for not passing his test. Too sweet this guy!!!

So, we have a pretty good arrangement with taking care of him. Matt & Brad take time in the morning, my Mom in the early evening, then Brad and I in the evening...then everyone splits time on the weekend. I can't think of a single staff member that has not taken to my Dad. He blows kisses to all the ladies, and hi-fives all the guys. Still, we cannot wait to get him home.

Brad and I have been catering to his desires to workout in the evenings, and he is getting better and better everytime. For the most part, we just practice standing and sitting, and loosening up stiff joints. We assist him from his chair, and sit next to him as back up in case he starts to lean. Last night he sat almost entirely by himself. If he started to lean, he corrected himself.

Then we left the gym, and went out to the lobby where they were playing an old Clint Eastwood western. He stayed awake for the entire film, and the three of us just chilled and watched some good ol fashioned boob tube....like the old days. The film itself was quite nostalgic to our youths, as it was filmed not far from where he raised us.

Friday (Day 76)

Yesterday's post was while I was on my way up to the Pass, and I was having technical difficulties. A close friend who has been a huge supporter since this all began came up from California to visit this weekend, and wanted to meet 'the man'. We started Friday morning off with a early visit to the SNF. My Dad was already up, dressed, and in his wheelchair. After introductions, he asked for the pic of the entire family so he could educate her on who is who. When he got to me, he said "birthday boy". Not only did he remember my birthday, but he sang Happy Birthday for me. This was no where near clear, but you could tell he was singing. I went in for a hug, and that was the last straw. Both of us broke down in tears. It was pretty amazing really, and I will never forget this birthday.

We cleaned ourselves up and he apologized to Jen for crying!! Then he thanked her for the donations she collected for us in California, and proceeded with the inquiry that a father would ask a girl that his son brings before him....with a little twist. His questions were a bit on the personal side, but hey....if anyone can get away with asking odd questions right now, it would be him.

We took him for a lap around the parking lot, then watched a little football, and back to his room. She and I had to get going, so as I began saying goodbye...I told him that this was the best birthday ever. He replied with something I couldn't quite make out....but eventually got it. I was his Rock, he said. Guess what happened next? Yup....more waterworks. I went in for a hug, and he was pounding on my back....showing his strength, as we cried in each others arms.

I can honestly say there is nothing that can humble a man more, than seeing his own father cry. It was a good cry, and a moment I will never forget. He told Jen 'it was wonderful to meet you', she gave him a kiss, and we were on our way.

After we left, I asked her if my portrayal of this situation via our conversations and this blog is accurate to his condition in person. She said you just have to see it for yourself to realize the impact, and how special every little thing that he does, truly is.

Tuesday (Day 72)

If you happen to have caught our last attempt at a posting labeled "Mp"...this was the first attempt at my Dad responding to all of you. I was attempting to decipher his thoughts, and enter a post from my phone, but it didn't fair as well as I had hoped. I love his spirit right now, always trying to outdo himself. Every night now is no longer spent by his bedside making sure he is comfortable, practicing his writing, watching tv, etc. We still do that stuff, but his latest thing is late night visits to the gym with Brad and I. We get him out of his chair, practice sitting and standing, work on motor skills, etc. Despite his yawning and tired eyes, he will refuse to go to bed at times, insisting we try again at whatever we are working on. He is pushing himself and I admire the hell out of him for it.

So, when asked to tell me a few words he wants me to type up for him, in true form, he goes into story mode. His first sentence started off with "A funny thing happened on the way here...."

Always a comedian.

Deciphering these words takes time, and we were losing gym time by doing this, so I asked him to keep it simple till he can write a more thorough entry for himself. His next words were....

"Thank you for all your support and prayers"


We are officially on our own finances now. To my understanding, disability is giving us the run around with this being a pre-existing condition. Yeah, because all Parkinson's patients go through this apparently. Paralysis, coma, loss of speech, loss of mobility....all signs of a Parkinson's patient. (Insert my 'pre-existing' sarcasm). The donations we have received from many of you will help out huge now, and we cannot thank you enough.

Thursday (Day 67)

Since my last post almost a week ago, it seems a lot has happened. In talking with my Mom, I am going to limit my posts to twice a week....which is about what they are now...but make official posting days so that everyone knows when to check in. So, starting next week, I will be posting on Tuesday's and Friday's. Regarding my comment on my last entry about shutting down this site, until I hear otherwise...it will continue, but only on those two days.

My Dad is asking about this blog almost everyday, and is eager to 'write back' to all of you. I may try to post an entry based purely on what he tells me. Knowing that this would take some time, it may be something I would complete in phases. Then again, maybe not. Lately he has been quite the chatter box, though much of it is still hard to understand.

More and more movement out of the left side. Initially, it was just what I had witnessed, but without other's able to see it...I began to look like the boy that cried wolf. Now, my Mom has seen it on several occasions, as well as some of the doctors and PT's.

Last night Brad and I took him into the gym, per his request. This is the first time in a week that we have done this, and I must say...his motor skills and awareness have doubled since then. Brad and I still have lots of practice when it comes to moving him from his chair, but it's getting better. The aids at the facility have been working with us on techniques. It's wild to think that just two months ago he was unable to open his eyes or even grunt. Now we are lucky if we can get him to keep quiet! Ha!

I have said over and over what an amazing husband and father this man is. I have seen several instances of this in the last 67 days. I could write a whole other blog on all these instances, but alas....some things are none of your business!!! haha. Earlier this week, I stayed much later than normal with him, as he was just going on and on and on about several topics. While we watched "Dances with the Stars", Jessica Simpson was singing...and I commented on how beautiful she is. Without hesitation, he goes into how much he loves my Mom, and how she has no idea how much he loves her. I won't comment on all that was said, as it was extremely touching....but I am completely revered by his attention to her, even in his weakened condition. He is constantly making sure she is "covered". We told him about our night with Neil, and then again I took her out this last weekend...and he told me to continue doing this. I know he worries for her as much, if not more, than she worries for him....which, if you know my Mom, you would know that is a whole lot of worrying. :)

Tonight he gets some special visitors who could not make it for his birthday weekend. We will watch the VP debates no doubt. Thank you to all that spent time with my Dad this weekend...you know who you are. It meant a lot to all of us, especially him. I've felt a new found strength in him this week.

Friday (Day 61)

So, for Wednesday night...I decided to take my Mom out with some friends to see Neil Diamond at the Key Arena. She tried to bag out of the idea, but I insisted that she needed a night off. So, I had a limo pick her up and told her to dress in an outfit that would have Neil reaching out into the crowd! The limo showed up at my doorstep, where the rest of the group was waiting. The smile on her face when the driver opened the door was priceless. We continued on to a few destinations, cocktails, eats, then to the show. She rallied with us as if nothing was wrong in her world. I was very impressed with her poise. Our seats were better than I expected, but seperate from the group. I had to extra seats that I was forced to sell last minute due to cancellations...but it worked out for the best.

I have not cried for my Dad in awhile....I mean really cried. I have maintained my strength and composure for the most part, for him. As I have said before, there will be plenty of time for tears later. But, as I sat there with my Mom, I could feel her sadness that he was not beside her sharing this moment. She had a tissue on hand, and I noticed her using it several times. Neil had a few new songs, that were very powerful. On a few occasions, I couldn't even hear the music. He could have been playing the theme song to Gilligan's Island for all I knew. My thoughts were of who SHOULD be sitting with us. I began reflecting on his sacrifice again.

I thought of living 66 full years, only to be borderline paralyzed when you retire....when you are now able to enjoy all those years of hard work. Now he faces his hardest work yet. When does this man get a break??!! Then on top of all HIS hard work, his country is turning its back on him. So yeah, I cried...a lot. The night was a success, though it didn't run as smoothly as I thought it would. Post concert was a fiasco trying to get home. Anyway, she had fun...and that made everything else miniscule.

So Thursday came. His birthday!! I took the day off of work, and as soon as I was up and able, I cruised over to the SNF, and spent the next seven hours by his side. My Mom, Brad, and I took him in our car and for a drive down to the water. He held up wonderfully, and enjoyed it thoroughly. His "party" is going to extend throughout the weekend with a bevy of misc guests all weekend.

More talks of taking him home. I have to try to figure out how to make that place wheelchair friendly....economically speaking of course. Several thoughts have come forth. May be looking for help remodeling, if anyone out there is skilled. I am also being told that I may be forced to discontinue this blog. Stay tuned and keep my email handy in the event this suddenly stops. I posted it a few days ago....

Tuesday (Day 58)

**After review of John's record I find he has been receiving daily skilled rehabilitation and/or daily skilled nursing, however his condition has improved and he no longer requires this level of care.**

This is classic to me. First they tell us that if he does not begin making significant signs of improvement, they will cut him from insurance. NOW, he has made TOO much improvement, apparently. Are you KIDDING ME???!!!!

He is barely getting his words out, lying in bed, left side still about 90% paralyzed. So, you can totally understand how this physician up above can come to this conclusion, right? Try coming down to the room and seeing for yourself, maybe?

Technically speaking, his Medicare runs out after 60 days anyway...so these people can't even give him his last few weeks?? There is a lot more to this that I cannot write about in here, due to the public nature of the site....but trust me, it's ugly.


On a brighter note, Brad & I took him to the gym last night and 'worked out' with him. His motor skills and strength in his right side are impressive. We lifted him off his chair and sat on the end of a bench together. Brad & I need to work on our technique of moving him...it was ugly. :)

Dad always seems to be cracking jokes lately, and laughing more. He and I have had some incredible chats lately, when we are just chillin alone in the room. Last night was one of them. He laid there with his eyes shut, pretending to be sleeping. Now, something about us Petrovich boys....we don't sleep quietly. So when he is lying there with his eyes shut, and no noise coming out...I know that trickster is faking!!!

So, I got down on my knees beside his bed and whispered into his ears:

"Are you awake?" His thumb goes up.

**laughter**

"Are you just laying there with your eyes shut listening to people talk about you?"

Thumbs up.

"I want you to know that I am very proud of you, and how hard you are working. I know this is not what you wanted, but I am proud to be your son. I love you very much, and am looking forward to getting past all this. You are strong, and still have a lot of good times ahead of you."

His eyes open up, as he beats his chest and says "Superman"

*smiles*

We have talks like this often.

Wednesday (Day 52)

I apologize for those of you keeping tabs in here, that I am unable to update as often. I have been so busy at work, that it's hard to pull away even for ten minutes to write in here. I will do my best to be more frequent with posts.

Ok, so...let's see...updates.

His speech is coming...just slowly. There are times when he is as clear as a bell, and then there are times that just boggle you as to what he is saying. So, I have been focusing on asking him odd questions to expand his vocab. Instead of "How are you feeling", I'll ask him what he watched on TV today for instance.

His swallowing is improving, and we hope to give him "treats" soon. ALL the nurses adore him. He learned how to "Blow kisses", and now everyone wants one when they see him. It's pretty damn funny.

If the insurance situation doesn't improve we may be caring for him ourselves at home, rather than pay the $7k + to keep him there. Speaking of home, my Mom has asked me to use this medium to see if anyone out there in our "fan base" is possibly home shopping. She is looking to sell their place and find something that is a little more handicap friendly, in the event we would take him home. If you would like to know more, please contact me @ petrofied@gmail.com.

**PLEASE do not solicit this email. Let's all give a big thank you to the gem of a man that solicited my gmail through this blog, as a representative of a donation agency. How do these people sleep?? Sigh...**

My Dad is getting more and more curious about what is going on, and being said in this blog. He wants to write in here, and just as soon as his speech is a little more legible, I will relay his messages to all of you.

All his trainers are pleased with his improvements of late...though slow, he continues to strive to improve and impress. More to come....on my way to go see him!

Friday (Day 47)

Apparently, even when partially paralyzed, barely able to speak, and stuck in a bed all day and night, my father still is capable of playing matchmaker. His newest nurse, who will remain anonymous, was caring for him the other day when he blurts out that his sons are all available. Mind you, when he says ANYTHING, it is blurry at best...but apparently this was as clear as day, according to her. I confirmed this the other night, beside his bed, by asking him if what I heard was true. He gave a huge smile, and confirmed his sneaky moves.

Brad and I stayed late with him last night, and he asked me to show him this site. He asked me how many people have viewed it, and I told him a little over 2000. He asked me about the donations, and we talked about where we were at with that, and he told me to give them back. I asked him how he would feel if someone gave back the money he had donated to a cause. He admitted that this would not be cool. I told him to be thankful, and when he is ready, he can show his appreciation to everyone in here. He agreed.

I then asked him what he wanted for his birthday coming up in a couple weeks, and after about 10 minutes of trying to decipher what he was trying to tell me, I figured it out!!! "I want you all to understand me", no doubt referring to his speech.

His writing and his speech get better day after day. He hasn't cried in a long time, at least, not for me....so his spirits are up it would seem.

Most of the help at this facility have somewhat taken to him, and get excited when he is up in his wheelchair on his way to PT. His speech therapist is wonderful, and has taught him a great deal.
It will be a shame when we have to pull him out of there.

Monday (Day 43)

43 Days. *shakes head* WOW.


Let me start by apologizing for my lack of posts this last week. I've been crazy busy dividing my time up with work, visits to Dad, and trying to manage any personal time I have left. Regardless, this weekend saw it's highs and lows. His neurologist was in on Friday and turned on the Neurostimulator for the first time. I wasn't there, but my brothers tell me that his eyes lit up, and he wrote the word "dizzy" on his dry erase board. Keep in mind, we just gave him this board a few days prior, and he couldn't write anything that we could understand. We also bought him some flash cards a while back, but he never took to them. I decided to try them again this weekend, and we played a game. I would show him the card with my Mom sitting behind me, he would say the word and she would try to guess the word based on what he is saying. He was able to say almost 75% of the cards (I didn't show him all of them), and a great deal of them were very recognizable. We brought in Jack again on Sunday, and my Dad was in his wheelchair. We put Jack on his lap, and took a stroll outside. He seemed to enjoy this, but it wore him out pretty good.

My Mom bought him one of those stress balls to help strengthen his hands, and without warning he suddenly threw it across the room to play "ball" with Jack. This was the first time that Jack really interacted with my Dad. My Dad even tried to fake him out with the ol dummy toss trick. Jack goes nuts over the ball...but I don't think he quite understands what is going on with my Dad. He reached up while on his lap at one point and licked his nose. ALL the nurses love Jack, and were quite fond of the site of my Dad up in his chair with Jack on his lap. We watched the Seahawks after Jack left, and then he wanted to hit the sack. I managed to get a "GO SEAHAWKS" out of him, which was awesome. Sounds like his insurance is going to end soon, though. Amazing to me, since we ARE seeing progress. They are going to monitor how he reacts while having the nuerostimulator on for about a week, then assess the situation. I try to block out the financial side of this...our Healthcare system is just disgusting to me. Our country spends so much money on medical techonology and finding cures for life threatening illnesses such as Parkinsons and Cancer....but once we find these cures, who will be able to afford it??!!

My Dad tried this "breakthrough" treatment....and it forever changed him, so I guess they got that part right.

Thursday (Day 38)

A double entry today since Tuesday night was pretty uneventful.

Last night I arrived to find him in his "Mariner Dad" t-shirt, that I gave him earlier this summer.
We new his former roommate was nearing the end of his stay, so we pushed to get Dad over on the other side of the room by the window. He now has his room to himself, though I am sure this is very temporary. He likes looking out the window for sure, and it brings some fresh air in on him. Brad brought in a Dry Erase board for him to draw on, and he is elated by this new concept. He is trying to communicate just about as hard as we are to hear him. I spoke with his Speech Therapist and she gave me some tips on how to work with him in the off hours, so I have been writing letters, then having him follow me. He was able to write his name, then when I wrote the word MOM, for him to write...he stopped suddenly and looked at me asking where Mom is. I said she was here all day, but you were sleeping...to which he replied, "Liar". Ha!

So, I called my Mom upon his request, and asked her to come back down. Luckily she was nearby. Now, let's be clear...I can get him to do a lot of stuff, as can Brad and Matt. But when she walks in that room, you would think he was a little boy that just met Santa. He motioned with his finger for her to come closer, to which he gave her a big smackaroo on the cheek.

We showed her his writing, some more motions, etc...before he started to get tuckered out again.
Prior to crashing, he held my Mom's hand and asked "What Happened?" He continued to ask this, despite her assuring him that nothing happened. We both agreed that he may be asking why he is still not well. We explained what happened, and that he needs to let his body heal. He has been quite impatient lately, and this may be why. He seemed very peaceful after this, so we asked him if he wants us to leave so he can sleep, to which he replied "Yeah". We shut the lights down and left him to his z's.

Tuesday (Day 36)

Ok, so...where was I?

Last night was the first I had seen him since Friday morning. Despite the news of the weekend, he looks great. Friday morning my mom and I found him in a sweat, robe pulled almost all the way off, sheets gone, and contorted in such a way that he could not be comfortable. I was shocked that the nurses could walk by this and not do anything about it. My Mom got a cold towel and wiped his head down to cool him off, as I sought out his nurse to ask what was going on. She said they took his temp and he was just fine, and had been moving him every two hours as scheduled, but he is getting more and more mobile in his bed, and hard to keep still. I am hardly complaining about this, but I worry he may try to get out of bed and hurt himself.

The nurses came in and gave him a fresh robe, and turned him once more. My mom then took me to the airport. I called on Sunday to check in and apparently this sweating was a sign of infection. They took a chest x-ray and found no sign of liquid in his lungs, so that is good. His urine and blood test are yet to come back.

I found him last night sitting up right, practicing what he has learned through PT. Unfortunately, the PT's give him such a workout, that by the time the Speech Therapist comes...he is dead tired and out cold. Great timing, right? One would think a Speech Therapist would come before a Physical Therapist, but what do I know?

Still very little movement on the left side, but very agile on the right. His hair is now thicker than my own. He loves it when I scratch his head for him. He hasn't improved very much on speech, though when I asked him if he remembers where I was all weekend, he whispered,
"California". Not the clearest, mind you, but enough to understand him.

My mom says he was able to sit upright in his wheelchair w/out assistance, and Brad tells me it only took 3 nurses to assist him standing, compared to the 4 it took the first attempt.

Thank you to all of you that continue to send us your stories of encouragement and support. I got home last night to see almost 1800 hits on the website. Amazing.

Thursday (Day 31)

My mom's sisters answered the call, and surprised her with a visit and some dinner...so we all went out and got her mind off things for a spell.
It was awesome to see her laughing again. Some friends of my Dad also joined us and the little sneaker picked up the tab when none of us were looking! (Thanks from everyone for that, GO)

Everyone at the table was telling stories of my Dad. Things he used to do or say, things he has said recently in recovery, updates, etc. It was a great evening.

He and I watched the Obama speech tonight. He kept saying O-bah-ma....haha. I told him I loved him as I left, and he whispered "I know".

This will be my only post until Monday evening. Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday (Day 30)

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. He was a bit of a sour puss to my Mom & I. Brad says he perked up later in the evening. He learned that pressing the red button gets the nurses to come, and his favorite nurse he can call by name. It was one of those evenings where he is pointing at something and trying to tell me something...and I just cannot pick up what it is. It's like playing Charades with no timer....you just keep guessing and guessing. I ask him to be patient, as I am trying to "hear" him. I know I would be going nuts if I were him, trying to express myself.

I am going to Cali this weekend and will have limited posts, FYI. I will likely post Friday, since I am sneaking in there to see him before my flight...but then not again till Monday evening.

Also, some friends and I are planning a Silent Auction to raise funds for my father's care. If you want any information on donating items and/or attending the event, you can email me at petrofied@gmail.com. Several items are available already and more are on the way. The event will likely take place in the Seattle Metro area sometime in October.

Tuesday (Day 29)

Last night was fun. My Mom told me that he played a little "Matchmaker" with one of his nurses, as she reminds all of us of one of Brad's ex-girlfriends. She came into the room, and my Dad pointed at her and said Brad's name. She blushed as she exited the room apparently. He briefly cried at the old memories.

By the time I got there, he was pretty tuckered out. Earlier he had been in a wheelchair and the PT took him into the "gym" that is provided in the facility. When I asked him if he was pumpin some iron, he responded by throwing his hand up to arm wrestle again...what a show off. Haha. His speech is getting better, and when my Mom turned on Oprah...he mustered out "Oprahhh". She went home to take care of Jack, and I stayed for a while. Shortly after she left though, he was out like a light. All in all, a pleasant evening.

Monday (Day 28)

It is one thing to see my Dad in this weakened state, or to watch him struggle over the last several years as the tremors get worse. But, as I found out this weekend, it is entirely something else to helplessly watch my father cry. My Mom had told me about these brief moments of him crying....but up until now, I have been unaware of them. I am pretty sure I have never seen anything more painful, and the mental image remains in my head. I am sure there are several reasons for his tears. Fear, love, embarassment, whatever the reason...it breaks my heart more than anything I have ever experienced. We doubt that it is due to pain, or suffering, as he has been pretty good at telling us when something is bothering him. I believe it is the struggle and possibly a little impatience to get out of that place, and back home. None of us can begin to imagine what a person goes through when in my father's position. I know when I get fatigued at the gym, I can just stop when I want to. Without the ability to speak clearly, he is being pushed and pushed and pushed, and has no way other than those tears to tell us anything.

If we were self made millionaires, we would take him home and hire a private nurse, and let him heal on his time....but we have to push, and I foresee a lot more of these tears in the future. I can tell you that it took every ounce of my strength not to break down and cry with him. But now is not the time for tears.

It has come to my attention that my blogs may be painting a picture to its readers that he is coming back around, and that it is just a matter of time before he is walking on his own two feet and taking on the world. Let me just say that this is my personal observation. I believe this can happen, yes. He has done things for me that, in my mind, show signs of strength and determination. If he wanted to give up, he would not do the little things that he does. I get excited over the little things, but they are just little things. He has a long, hard road ahead, as we got a glimpse of this weekend. I just don't want any friends and family that are reading this to necessarily think that everything is ok based on my views and updates. Unfortunately, I cannot write about everything I observe due to the public nature of this site. This site is FOR my father, it is not my personal journal. I apologize for any confusion.

His insurance is going to end very soon we are being told and he will be unable to stay in the current facility. We will either be required to bring him home and care for him ourselves, or place him in an assisted living type home.

Remember when I said we take the good with the bad? Well....

Unfortunately, my Mom is carrying a lot of the weight of all of this on her shoulders. She is not going to like this....but I am going to have to insist on a ladies night to get her mind off of everything. (I told you I was going to set it up!)
Soooo, sisters, friends.....email me at petrofied@gmail.com if you want to help out with "Operation Make Mom Smile".

Friday (Day 25)

Not much to report today. We had a quiet evening last night. His new thing is the snapping of the fingers. I asked him just to do it, and he did it repeatedly with little to no pause in between snaps.

According to my Mom, he had a busy day, so it is no surprise that he was tired for me. He had quite a few visitors during the afternoon, which may have exhausted him a little. I think the visitors are good, but I do ask that you coordinate with my Mom or one of us prior to popping in, so that we don't overwhelm him. The Speech Therapist made some ground with him, which is nice. Brad tells me he is starting to accomplish two tasks at once, rather than just one thing at a time. His good friend Gary taught him some sign language earlier this week, and he was able to tell me "I love you" in sign last night without me prompting.

Last night was a slow day, like many more to come. We take the good with the bad though, it was actually nice to see him resting for a change. I know he is eager to get out of that bed and get home, and is anxious to "figure out" what is wrong and fix it...but the body heals while it rests too. As much as I wanted to "play", I could see he needed his rest. Hopefully we'll have a big day today. :)

Thursday (Day 24)

Wow...what a day. As I have stated before, it is the littlest of improvements that can make a world of difference. Last night was awesome. I can't honestly remember seeing my Mom laugh that hard.

I walked into his room, and he appeared to be sleeping, but there was something different. He just looked different, better, but different. I asked my Mom how he was doing today, and saw his eyes pop open. I approached the opposite side of the bed that my Mom was on, and he held up his hand for me, and just had a genuinely happy face. There were no available chairs, so I knelt down beside him, and upon my Mom's request, he reached out to touch my nose. She started snappin pictures on her cell phone. I told him, "Hey Dad, Mom is taking pictures of us!". He threw up his hand and gave a wave, then threw up a "peace" symbol. When my Mom and I were done laughing, I looked down and he had a huge smart alec smile on his face. She managed to get this shot...

She then leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and told him she is going home to take care of Jack. He SNAPPED his fingers, and patted the bed as if Jack was in the room. I was blown away. Brad tells me he was snapping his fingers the night before too. We'll have to get Jack back in there soon. As I was trying to leave, he got ahold of his electric bed adjuster thing, and was going to town inclining, declining, toes up, toes down...cracked me up. I love days like this.

Wednesday (Day 23)

Another major hurdle last night checked off the list. He swallowed on his own. This was a big concern after week one. His nurse gave him some ice chips, and according to my mom, he swallowed them right up. They also removed his IV that was still in his wrist as a precaution. It wasn't connected, but just in case they have left it on until last night. Hopefully soon we can get both his food tube and his catheter removed, as I am getting the impression that both of these are beginning to bother him. The more he becomes aware of everything around him and what is going on, the more he realizes something is going where it shouldn't be going. :)

He is trying to tell me something, and it is frustrating that I cannot "hear" him, or understand him. He is trying so hard to tell me, and I just feel helpless.

My Mom tells me he cried again yesterday. I can't begin to imagine the struggle he is enduring. Laying in that bed for hours on end, having everyone care for your personal affairs, wondering why your left side won't work. I am sure he feels scared, and alone. We assure him every night that he is not alone, and not to be frightened. That everything will come in time, that he needs to be strong, that he needs to believe. He gave me strength for so many years, and continues to do so...I consider this payback time.

Even in a bed restricted from speech, he teaches me. He teaches me love, humility, generosity, and to be a better man. 800 hits on this website?? He is loved by, and has touched more people than I had ever imagined. We all have said at one point in our lives that we 'will never be like out parents'. I can only wish I can be as good a man as him one day.

Tuesday (Day 22)

Yesterday evening was a pretty impressive showing. Matt, myself, and my Mom were all there to witness my Dad in what I thought was his best form yet. My Mom said his eyes had been wide open since she got there at 1:30pm...and honestly, I was falling asleep before he would last night. I kept dozing off sitting there in the dark with him, finally leaving at around 9pm.

He is becoming very aware of his surroundings now, attempting to talk more (and he is soooo close to telling me something), and even moving that left arm from time to time. His right arm is moving all over the place. He has lost about 15 pounds since this all started which is likely mostly due to loss of muscle mass. I wish I could put him in his own room. 'Harry', who resides just over the divider curtain, is an interesting fellow. He seems like a nice guy, but is hard of hearing, so as I am trying to get my Dad to close his eyes for the night...Harry starts yelling for the nurses, and the nurses then are forced to yell back. It's amusing for the first or second time. Harry is convinced the nurses are trying to kill him by making him "crap his pants every five minutes".

All and all...a very good day. His eyes are focusing again, and working together. He is working with the nurses a little better....though they continue to try to come in the morning...sigh. How many different ways can we say "Don't come in the morning"???

Still not a lot of movement out of that left leg.

He smiled at my mom yesterday as if he was seeing her for the first time in years.

Sunday (Day 20)

As I lay here in bed, on the eve of the 3rd week since this all began, I read some of the memories that friends have left in the comments pages.  I am reminded of so many wonderful times with my Dad, and thus encourage more of these comments.  If you have an awesome memory of him, please share it.  The comment section of this page was my mothers idea.  I am sure it pleases her to see the lives that have been touched by this man.  Many of you don't know what to say, or what you can do.   It is sometimes the simplest thought or gesture that can mean a smile on our faces, or a tear in our eyes (happy tears, of course).   The truth is, you know what you can do, but you find it "insignificant", as a friend of mine put it recently.  NOTHING IS INSIGNIFICANT.  If you can make my mother smile, I would owe you indefinitely...as would my father if he were reading this.

As far as this weekend goes, he is doing wonderfully.  He is beginning to move his neck around, checking out his surroundings and taking it all in.  My mom and I believe that he is concerned his left side is not functioning, and try to tell him not to worry about all that.  A good friend of his swung by today to give good thoughts, and check in.  He is a good man, and a good friend.   

My Dad's RN today was this little sassy old Filipina that has been trying to lift our spirits while visiting.  She clearly does not realize we have been sitting by his side for the last 3 weeks.  She tells us to talk to him, tell him about our days, etc, etc.  She even tried to tell us that when asked
how he feels today he said, "Oh hunny, I am doing just fine thank you." in her broken english.
THIS was the first time I had seen my mother laugh uncontrollably in three weeks.  We waited till this woman left, and had our laugh.  Next thing ya know he will be doing the Waltz with this woman while we are not looking.   Clearly they need to make another bed available....but her heart was in the right place.

We brought Jack in to see him, and he (Jack) was just a little too excited to see his friend again.
My Dad reached up to pet him, and had a very excited look on his face.   It was quite the treat.
My mom snapped the picure to the right so that you can see his progress.  Three weeks in, and almost all scars are healed, and his hair is soon to be thicker than my own.   A long road ahead still, but a good weekend overall.

Friday (Day 19)

I have added a web counter towards the lower right hand side of the page. I have been watching it today, and have seen it's number double today alone. I know this website it reaching people that do not know me, my family, or my father. You have found this website because you are either friends with or related to someone that has touched our lives, and vice versa. Welcome all of you, and thank you for stopping by.

My visit last night showed much of the same as the night before...but he had a little surprise waiting for me. Perhaps my mom, or one of my brothers got him into this, but now when I hold up a poker card, he holds up the corresponding number with his fingers. Being that he is still struggling to utilize his left side, this will only work up to five....but it is yet another new 'thing'.
He still smirks when I bust out those Kings.

I have read all the comments many of you are leaving, and the emails I have been receiving. I loooove how some of you leave your messages FOR John. He will read them someday soon...and he will have a great deal of catching up to do with all of you.

I called my parents house looking for my Mom, when the voicemail picked up. It was him, his voice anyway. I've been so focused on being strong for him and my mother...I hadn't realized how long it's been since the wet works have come out. His voice did it. I could have redialed all night to just hear that 10 second clip over and over again....

We are going to attempt to bring Jack (see pics) in to see him this weekend. I want to videotape his response to his other best friend....stay tuned, and thanks again.

Thursday (Day 18)

I cannot believe the circulation this website is getting. Thank you all. It is true, my father touched a lot of people. I read all these comments from family and friends, and everything is dead on. He is and always has been one of the kindest men I know....and among the many things I have learned from this experience, is that there are a whole lot of people in this world that could use some of that side of my father, including myself.

As you may have guessed by now, my posts reflect that of the previous day's events with my Dad. Yesterday we had a bit of both good and bad news. The facility that he is in, has in fact, released him as we feared they might. I am at a loss for words here....I really am.

The good news was that the nurses managed to get him out of the bed and into a wheelchair, heavily assisted by them of course, so that he could get a bath and a fresh shave. By the time I got there, he was resting, but soon opened those beautiful blue eyes to entertain me yet again. My father and I share a love of poker, so I thought I might try to bring in a deck of cards to see if he could recognize these cards and maybe call out their name. I wish I had videotaped this.

I started with a pair of Kings (also known as Cowboys), as this is his favorite two cards. He instantly smirked, and raised his hand towards me. I placed the two cards between his thumb and his index finger so that it looked like he was holding them in an actual game. He was glowing!!! I held up the Ace of Hearts, and asked if he knew what that was....he managed to get out the words "Aaaa o Hearrr". I about lost it laughing, and congratulating him, and he tweaked his smile one more time.

Then we put the cards away, and I held his hand firmly as I do from time to time. Kind of my way of 'feeding' him strength, I suppose. Our hands were wrapped as if to arm wrestle, and just out of curiosity, I began bouncing my thumb around his as if we were playing a thumb war....and he did not miss a beat!! His thumb slowly danced around as well, and when I slipped mine under his, he pinched down hard!! I told him, "Nice work DAD, you beat me!!!"

Again, a smile.

We watched some of the Olympics, and he fell back into his deep sleep.

Wednesday Day 17

My Dad's brother and his wife came to town to see him. He managed to show him all his tricks, and even squeezed out a smile. His hair is coming back in, his scars are almost fully healed, and if you didn't know any better you would say he is just sleeping. Amazing how powerful the mind is. I just want to say "Wake up!" sometimes. I worry that he is only showing his tricks and movements and speech for his family.

I was told to turn on the second showing of the Oprah show last night when I got home. It was so close to home, I couldn't believe it.

http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/85162

Up to Speed 8-12-08

Catching up to the present,

My Dad is now in the SNF, where they have begun to rehabilitate. I have been reminded, and have read myself that people with PD (Parkinson's Disease) take a little bit longer to rehab from something like this. His physical therapist has already stepped down, as his body is still in the coma. He/She will resume PT as soon as he begins to be more responsive in body. His eyes open wide now, and daily, for hours on end. He is taking everything in, listening, comprehending, and when it strikes the mood, trying to communicate. We have heard him say many things, names, responses, and of course "I luuuuuuuh", which is his response to my mother saying she loves him. His hand signals come without hesitation now...so fast that I need to come up with more material for him!! I can feel his strength when he squeezes my hand...I know he is fighting this...he just needs time.


He can wave to the nurses (what a charmer), and last night did something that would tear up the toughest sort. My mom went in to kiss him, as she routinely does, and I told her to put her cheek up there to see if he'd kiss back. Pops puckered up w/out hesitation. I am pretty sure it made her week, and I just giggled. She left, and I stayed with him for awhile just talking, listening to his breathing, playing with new hand gestures. Even the quietest of days can prove to be remarkable.

The doctors reminded my Mom that time is not on our side. If he doesn't start impressing them, we will be on our own both medically, and financially. What a system, our Healthcare. Sigh.

Week Two--Day Eight

The doctors have called for me and my brothers to meet them this afternoon for a meeting. No doubt, for some bad news. My mom knows, but she wanted us to hear it from them. Last night, I walked her to her car, and we talked for what seemed like forever. She hinted to what the doctors were going to tell me, as she knows I am very upset right now. Not that most of the medical staff has not been very compassionate. In fact, all the nurses hug her, cry with her....the anesthesiologist came into the room on Wednesday, and didn't even have the words. He looked at my mom, and broke down in tears. A grown man, working in a hospital...in tears. You can see why I'm upset.

It was this meeting where the doctors raised concern of the likelihood that my father will ever walk again. The entire meeting was blurry to me, as I was so full of anger and rage. I wanted to put my hand through a wall. I don't want to hear their opinions...because in the end, that is all they are. One of my friends put it best, 'doctors are like the weatherman...they will give you their thoughts on the facts placed before them, but cannot predict the future.' Here, in the NW, the weather changes quite often. All I heard in that meeting was three words,

"Nothing is impossible."

Days Four thru Seven...

Thursday morning, my mom called to say he had opened his eyes wide for her, moved some toes, fingers, etc....all of which were very good signs. He impressed all the doctors, and gave us all some new found hope.

Friday was not so good, but the doctors told us there would be plenty of ups and downs. They had to put the oxygen back in his nose, as his saturation level was dropping.

This weekend saw a lot of success all across the board. He is back on his own breathing, he is beginning to get some words out. Saturday was the most touching, when my mom went to go home and leaned over to give him a kiss, and said "I love you". He replied back with a very good attempt, that sounded much like and "I love you"...my mom's water works were in full affect.

Sunday morning he was crying. Not like he did with me on Wednesday....this was a full blown cry. His nurse, who has been amazing, totally lost it, as did my mom. They are convinced this was due to his bowel movement...the first all week. I mean, nobody likes to poop the bed...I would cry too....but, it needed to be done...and the rest of the day saw much improvements. His eyes were half opened for most of the day....and they finally moved him out of the ICU to the top floor where he has an amazing view now. Today he is scheduled for another surgery that will insert a tube directly into his stomach, since he was being fed through a tube in his nose...and he did not like it. He has had a nasty case of the hiccups which is no doubt producing some acid reflux...as he moans loudly during these occurances. They believe this surgery will reduce that, and they can completely remove all tubes from his upper body....which will be awesome.

Day Three

Wednesday night, I stayed by his side as late as I could...waiting for a sign. They had taken him off oxygen and he was breathing...well, snoring actually, all on his own. He could grip my hand when I spoke to him, so I knew he was listening...but no noise, no eyes, nothing. Later that evening, I looked up and caught a glimpse of his eyes...about as much as you could see if someone was squinting at you....but I could see them, and with tears in my own eyes, I said "Hey Sunshine! How ya doin??" A tear rolled out of his left eye, and I lost it.

I told him that I wish I could take this from him, and trade him spots....and his right hand (which had not seen much movement) lifted up off his belly and across his left side to me...as if to touch my face. I met him half way, and whispered "I know Dad, I love you too". It was an amazing night. I found new energy and stayed with him till his eyes shut again and he went back into a deep sleep. I asked him before his went to sleep to try and show my mom some good signs the next morning.

Day One

It was Monday morning the 28th of July that my father went in for a procedure that he felt would remarkably improve the rest of his living years. He told me not to worry, and that by noon on Monday, the first phase of the procedure would be complete….but I did worry. Then, around 10:30 that morning, my mother called me to tell me all lights were green! The doctors claimed it couldn’t have gone any smoother. I looked to the sky with tears in my eyes, and whispered the words “Thank you”. I was ecstatic, and quickly sent word that the worst is over. Phase two was a walk in the park, and would hardly be anything to worry about. I was overjoyed, and full of anticipation to finish my work and rush to the hospital. Then, at around 2:00pm, my anticipation and excitement was shattered with confusion, fear, and anger as my brother called me…

“Hey man, there has been a complication…you better get up here right away”

I dropped everything and rushed to the hospital where I found my mom, two of her sisters, and my brothers in the surgery waiting area. The look on my mom floored me, and I could see that this is no small complication. Apparently, a blood clot had formed in the left side of his brain, about the size of a baseball. They claim that when inserting one of the electrodes into his brain, they grazed a blood vessel and a slow leak had started. They rushed him back into surgery where they were able to remove 89% of this clot. The rest, they claimed, would be absorbed by the body and be of no threat.

He was placed in ICU where all we could do was wait. He had more tubes and wires coming in and out of him than I would ever want to see again. Initially, his oxygen was being fed to him, as was his food, through various tubes. Day by day, the doctors removed a little bit at a time, until all he was left with was his feeding tube surgically installed directly into his stomach. A CT Scan revealed that some of the blood had leaked into the third and fourth ventricles surrounding his brain stem. This temporarily prohibited him from opening his eyes and/or speaking.

His family was constantly by his side, waiting for a sign. The damage to the left side of his brain had temporarily paralyzed the left side of his body. Though unable to open his eyes or speak, he was able to acknowledge us by squeezing his right hand. Day by day, he began to come out of his coma. We were starting from scratch, and every new triumph, no matter how big or small, were an emotional moment. As he grew stronger, so did our family. His courage to take on such a procedure has brought this family closer than we have been in decades. Everyday sees more and more improvement, yet after a meeting a week after the surgery, the doctors claim that if he has not shown significant signs of improvement in the next three months, we will have to make a decision. (I.e. stop feeding him) They have since moved him out of ICU, into a SNF (Skilled Nurses Facility), where his healing goes into high gear. It is here that he has a speech therapist, a physical therapist, and several other skilled specialists to get him up and running.

My father is strong, and I believe in my heart that he is trying like hell to get back to his wife and family…and I know he can do this in the three months time. But, as if we haven’t had enough bad news, he may not be allowed that time. The conditions of his Medicare plan say that he is only covered for two months at the SNF, AND if he is not making ‘significant improvements’, the SNF has to de-certify him from Medicare. Without Medicare, he would be moved upstairs of this facility to their nursing home, where he would be cared for, but no specialists…and only time will tell. The long term care unit would be out of our own pocket at a cost of around $7000 per month.

I spend my hours with my father talking, showing him hand signals, working on his words…basically starting from scratch. He responds to hand signals and words almost without hesitation. He smiled for me last night, and stuck his tongue out at me when asked to do so. His grip with this right hand is so strong now; I know he is telling me he can do this. My father loves his family so much. He took a risk for the benefit of all of us, and is fighting to come back FOR us. I have never witnessed a love like he and my mom share. He is only 66, and knows he has several more years of loving her to go.