Wednesday (Day 94)

"I didn't have a choice"

These were the words my father spoke, as tears ran down his face when I read my last blog entry to him.

This last weekend was especially emotional for him. We had several family members come up for our little deck project. 24 hours saw a grassy backyard turn into a creative ramp in preparation for my father's return home. So, unable to help out with home improvements, knowing everyone is helping out for him, not being able to join in the fun, and hearing old memories over dinner....all of which led to a very sad poppa. Sooo, Monday night he asked me to read him some posts from here, and wanted to leave another post in his words. He started from the beginning, back at the Hospital. "I've got good news and bad news", he said....and as he continued to spell out his words, I realized where he was going. I stopped him soon after, and told him everyone already knows what happened, and that they need an update.

He then went into "thank you all for your support...." then stopped and asked me to read. I got two sentences in, when he lost it. I told him he has much to be proud of, and his courage is astounding. He told me "I had no choice". To which I replied,
"Of course you had a choice....everyone has choices!" "You could have done nothing."

He had an interesting visitor earlier this week....which couldn't have been better timed, given this funk he was in over the weekend. I took him on our regular stroll through the parking lot to the end of the street so he can get a glimpse of the sunset and Puget Sound. On the way there, I noticed three young ladies walking down the hill past the driveway we were on. Keep in mind, this is NOT the best neighborhood he is in, and 90% of the ladies walking the streets around here are "working". I steered clear of them, and parked his wheelchair on the upward half of the driveway, giving him the best view...when I hear "Sir??" I turned around to see one of these ladies walking back up the hill towards us. I turned to my Dad thinking "Great!! Here we go!"...thinking she is going to ask for money. Of course, my next thought was how disrespectful people can be. CLEARLY this is a special moment between a father and his son. For the record, I hate that these were my initial thoughts.

After walking all the way back up the hill to us, she introduced herself, then walked very tenderly towards my Dad and reached for his hand. She worked across the street at the church, and asked if I would be willing to bring him in on a Sunday for some healing. She held his hand and proceeded with an amazing prayer, at one point screaming to the heavens with tears in her eyes. I looked at my Dad, and he was alllllllll ears. He said "thank you" about a million times to her. She insisted that he stay strong, and NOT lose faith....that he WILL walk again. I was just waiting for my Dad to break down in tears again, but he didn't. It was a very surreal moment, I must say. I thanked her for her time, and her thoughtfulness. It was getting cold, so we said goodbye, and I proceeded to get him indoors. I asked him what he thought about that, and he said "Pretty cool".

Pretty cool indeed. He has had a new found strength this week, I have noticed....and is admittantly trying to rush the healing. Brad said he had a great workout with the Parallel bars, and the speech therapist gave my Mom some exercises to work with him in efforts to work on the swallowing. Everyone has been working so hard in their own ways. My father will be proud to read of all of your efforts! Thank you everyone. I will post some more pics right away! :)

Wednesday (Day 87)

Ok, so I missed a couple posts last week. It's been a little chaotic between work, SNF visits, and coordinating the work on the house this weekend. We are planning on bringing him home at the month, thus making some modifications to the house. I will post some pics when this is complete.

Well, I think it's safe to say that three days from now, we will not have to make "the decision" the doctors originally thought we would have to make. Though I can't even begin to imagine what is going through my fathers head right now, I know that he does not want to leave us. We can hardly keep up with him these days. I get up, get to work, then go see him and all he wants to do is go to the gym!! HA! I just want to relax!!! haha. But I love this enthusiasm in him...I just wish I knew more about rehabilitating a person. He even gave Brad and I a two month goal to be walking!! I told him that is A LOT of work, but I am game.

I recently was in transit from visiting him, to my house...and I went into deep thought, as I tend to do. I thought to myself, having a tremor as well, if I would have the same courage as he did if it came down to it. Knowing what I know now....if I had to get this same surgery as he did, would I have the courage to do so....knowing what could possibly happen? Would I have the same loving family that would look after me, as we do for him? That man has a wealth in family love, that no other resident in that facility has. There is one woman in there, that has more money than she knows what to do with....so she pays upwards to $100K a year to stay there, and has been there for two years they say. But, I have only seen one visitor for her since we started coming there. My Dad has a minimum of four visitors a DAY. Asking for donations, and raising money for him is a very humbling act, and it is even more humbling for him to accept them...but one thing he will never have to do is "ask" for love. So who is better off? The woman who doesn't have to worry about money, who's remaining family members fight over inheritance, and hardly visit her? Or the Man at the other end of the hall that is "getting by", but has unlimited support and compassion? Makes one think what is REALLY important in the whole scheme of things. Ideally, we all want the best of both worlds, but if you had to pick....?

That concludes my deep thought of the day. :)


We have several people coming forward to help out however they can. We have a variety of events in the works for the New Year in my Dad's name. Hopefully, we can have him attend one or more so that everyone can see what their thoughtfulness and prayers have accomplished. He is quite the entertainer these days, though limited. God help us when he gets his speech back. haha.

Tuesday (Day 79)

Tuesday was a big day for my Dad. It was arranged to take him out to Bellevue to get a test done that would show the doctors how his swallowing has progressed. He has been better at the frequency of his swallows, but there was concern as to where he is swallowing to. The test feeds him a variety of substances that all show up on x-ray. Sadly, he did not fair well, but the doctor gave us a series of tests to work with him on, that will strengthen his throat for next time. When my Mom got him back to his room, he apologized to her, for not passing his test. Too sweet this guy!!!

So, we have a pretty good arrangement with taking care of him. Matt & Brad take time in the morning, my Mom in the early evening, then Brad and I in the evening...then everyone splits time on the weekend. I can't think of a single staff member that has not taken to my Dad. He blows kisses to all the ladies, and hi-fives all the guys. Still, we cannot wait to get him home.

Brad and I have been catering to his desires to workout in the evenings, and he is getting better and better everytime. For the most part, we just practice standing and sitting, and loosening up stiff joints. We assist him from his chair, and sit next to him as back up in case he starts to lean. Last night he sat almost entirely by himself. If he started to lean, he corrected himself.

Then we left the gym, and went out to the lobby where they were playing an old Clint Eastwood western. He stayed awake for the entire film, and the three of us just chilled and watched some good ol fashioned boob tube....like the old days. The film itself was quite nostalgic to our youths, as it was filmed not far from where he raised us.

Friday (Day 76)

Yesterday's post was while I was on my way up to the Pass, and I was having technical difficulties. A close friend who has been a huge supporter since this all began came up from California to visit this weekend, and wanted to meet 'the man'. We started Friday morning off with a early visit to the SNF. My Dad was already up, dressed, and in his wheelchair. After introductions, he asked for the pic of the entire family so he could educate her on who is who. When he got to me, he said "birthday boy". Not only did he remember my birthday, but he sang Happy Birthday for me. This was no where near clear, but you could tell he was singing. I went in for a hug, and that was the last straw. Both of us broke down in tears. It was pretty amazing really, and I will never forget this birthday.

We cleaned ourselves up and he apologized to Jen for crying!! Then he thanked her for the donations she collected for us in California, and proceeded with the inquiry that a father would ask a girl that his son brings before him....with a little twist. His questions were a bit on the personal side, but hey....if anyone can get away with asking odd questions right now, it would be him.

We took him for a lap around the parking lot, then watched a little football, and back to his room. She and I had to get going, so as I began saying goodbye...I told him that this was the best birthday ever. He replied with something I couldn't quite make out....but eventually got it. I was his Rock, he said. Guess what happened next? Yup....more waterworks. I went in for a hug, and he was pounding on my back....showing his strength, as we cried in each others arms.

I can honestly say there is nothing that can humble a man more, than seeing his own father cry. It was a good cry, and a moment I will never forget. He told Jen 'it was wonderful to meet you', she gave him a kiss, and we were on our way.

After we left, I asked her if my portrayal of this situation via our conversations and this blog is accurate to his condition in person. She said you just have to see it for yourself to realize the impact, and how special every little thing that he does, truly is.

Tuesday (Day 72)

If you happen to have caught our last attempt at a posting labeled "Mp"...this was the first attempt at my Dad responding to all of you. I was attempting to decipher his thoughts, and enter a post from my phone, but it didn't fair as well as I had hoped. I love his spirit right now, always trying to outdo himself. Every night now is no longer spent by his bedside making sure he is comfortable, practicing his writing, watching tv, etc. We still do that stuff, but his latest thing is late night visits to the gym with Brad and I. We get him out of his chair, practice sitting and standing, work on motor skills, etc. Despite his yawning and tired eyes, he will refuse to go to bed at times, insisting we try again at whatever we are working on. He is pushing himself and I admire the hell out of him for it.

So, when asked to tell me a few words he wants me to type up for him, in true form, he goes into story mode. His first sentence started off with "A funny thing happened on the way here...."

Always a comedian.

Deciphering these words takes time, and we were losing gym time by doing this, so I asked him to keep it simple till he can write a more thorough entry for himself. His next words were....

"Thank you for all your support and prayers"


We are officially on our own finances now. To my understanding, disability is giving us the run around with this being a pre-existing condition. Yeah, because all Parkinson's patients go through this apparently. Paralysis, coma, loss of speech, loss of mobility....all signs of a Parkinson's patient. (Insert my 'pre-existing' sarcasm). The donations we have received from many of you will help out huge now, and we cannot thank you enough.

Thursday (Day 67)

Since my last post almost a week ago, it seems a lot has happened. In talking with my Mom, I am going to limit my posts to twice a week....which is about what they are now...but make official posting days so that everyone knows when to check in. So, starting next week, I will be posting on Tuesday's and Friday's. Regarding my comment on my last entry about shutting down this site, until I hear otherwise...it will continue, but only on those two days.

My Dad is asking about this blog almost everyday, and is eager to 'write back' to all of you. I may try to post an entry based purely on what he tells me. Knowing that this would take some time, it may be something I would complete in phases. Then again, maybe not. Lately he has been quite the chatter box, though much of it is still hard to understand.

More and more movement out of the left side. Initially, it was just what I had witnessed, but without other's able to see it...I began to look like the boy that cried wolf. Now, my Mom has seen it on several occasions, as well as some of the doctors and PT's.

Last night Brad and I took him into the gym, per his request. This is the first time in a week that we have done this, and I must say...his motor skills and awareness have doubled since then. Brad and I still have lots of practice when it comes to moving him from his chair, but it's getting better. The aids at the facility have been working with us on techniques. It's wild to think that just two months ago he was unable to open his eyes or even grunt. Now we are lucky if we can get him to keep quiet! Ha!

I have said over and over what an amazing husband and father this man is. I have seen several instances of this in the last 67 days. I could write a whole other blog on all these instances, but alas....some things are none of your business!!! haha. Earlier this week, I stayed much later than normal with him, as he was just going on and on and on about several topics. While we watched "Dances with the Stars", Jessica Simpson was singing...and I commented on how beautiful she is. Without hesitation, he goes into how much he loves my Mom, and how she has no idea how much he loves her. I won't comment on all that was said, as it was extremely touching....but I am completely revered by his attention to her, even in his weakened condition. He is constantly making sure she is "covered". We told him about our night with Neil, and then again I took her out this last weekend...and he told me to continue doing this. I know he worries for her as much, if not more, than she worries for him....which, if you know my Mom, you would know that is a whole lot of worrying. :)

Tonight he gets some special visitors who could not make it for his birthday weekend. We will watch the VP debates no doubt. Thank you to all that spent time with my Dad this weekend...you know who you are. It meant a lot to all of us, especially him. I've felt a new found strength in him this week.