Week One, as I said before, was a transition.
Week Two sees the family transitioning better. The struggles we saw in Week One, are becoming less of a struggle, and more of a fluent series of motions. Thanksgiving will be a little weird this year, since we do not want to tease him on his favorite holiday with all the lovely smells of all the things he loves, but cannot have. So, we will likely just decorate the house in preparation for Christmas, maybe take a drive somewhere with him...anything to keep his mind of mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, etc etc. Personally, I hate eating in front of him. But, a little twist to the holidays never hurt anyone! At least my caloric intake won't be so high this year! :)
I worked with his left leg recently, and to my surprise, it is getting stronger...and with his foot on my chest, I prompted him to "push me away" with his foot....and felt him pushing. This was very pleasing. The arm has movement, but not particularly in the way we would like it too. But, some movement is better than none.
I'd like to spend the rest of this post on my Mom. I've spoken of my worries for her and her piece of mind often throughout this ordeal. She seems so fragile to me, as she is my Mom, but upon reflection of this entire event...she has been the glue for all of us. Now that he is home, she is committed to his care. It is extremely hard work, yet she exudes an inner strength that I can only imagine she got from her own mother...a very VERY strong woman. She redefines "Stand by your man", a characteristic that is extremely rare in this day and age. Her care for my Dad comes like second nature, involving some things that nobody would ever want of their mate. Perhaps that is why her sons are all still single, because none of us can find one like her. Personally, I have known only two women in my long history of dating that I could honestly say would stand by me through thick and thin...and of course I foolishly let them slip away.
My Dad hit gold when he met my Mom. Through all the stress and heartache of everything that has happened since July 28th, she stands her ground. This woman I thought to be so fragile, has more strength than each of her sons combined. I am constantly writing about my Dad and his ambition to get stronger, and recouperate....but I have never really stopped to give props to whom he is fighting to get back to, for without her....I honestly think he would have given up a long time ago. I love you Mom!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Be sure to show your thanks, love, and appreciation to the "glues" in your lives. Enjoy your time with your families. If you cannot be with them, reach out and call someone you may have not talked to in a long time. Bury your grievances, bury the past. Reach out and be the bigger person. Not only does it feel good to be hugged, but it feels really good to do the hugging.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Day 115
Chapter Two "Back Home"
Well, I have a new found respect for RN's and Aide's. In home care is no walk in the park. My Mom is taking the brunt of the RN care, meds and such...while my brothers and I tend to his physical needs. It take an entire new kind of patience than was needed at the SNF, or the hospital.
I have the "luxury" of going home occasionally, wheras Brad and my Mom are with him day and night. I quote "luxury", as I miss him when I don't get to see him...it is no luxury to not be there, more of a resting and refreshing of the mind.
We set him up in our dining room, and the first weekend was quite the adjustment. Last night worked pretty well, and I could see us really starting to come together and work as a team...making everything smoother for everyone. Stress is running high, though, on everyone and I worry about my Mom. We do have a regular nurse and aide that stop by to check up on him, but the majority of the watch is our own.
To answer your questions, yes, he does seem happier to be home. I have been teaching him how to get around on his own in the chair, and he is doing very well at that...to the point where I had to make him promise me he would not get in the fridge until cleared by the nurses to do so. He still has to pass his swallow test.
We found an Aquatic Center that has "Wave Therapy", which we hope will help in taking those first steps.
All the nurses from the SNF miss my Dad, and have even commented that work is not the same without "Superman" around.
Donations and gifts continue to come in, in one form or another...and although it may be a little redundant at this point...I just cannot thank you enough. Those of you that are close to the family, I encourage you to mail, email, or call my Mom and continue to give her strength and perhaps a laugh or two....though the comedian in my Dad has not been hindered. He is alive and well, and despite what is going on...he continues to entertain his family and protect us from any pain.
We are officially at 4000 hits to the site. I never thought this would reach so many. Continue to read, as I will continue to write.
Much Love,
The Petrovich family.
Well, I have a new found respect for RN's and Aide's. In home care is no walk in the park. My Mom is taking the brunt of the RN care, meds and such...while my brothers and I tend to his physical needs. It take an entire new kind of patience than was needed at the SNF, or the hospital.
I have the "luxury" of going home occasionally, wheras Brad and my Mom are with him day and night. I quote "luxury", as I miss him when I don't get to see him...it is no luxury to not be there, more of a resting and refreshing of the mind.
We set him up in our dining room, and the first weekend was quite the adjustment. Last night worked pretty well, and I could see us really starting to come together and work as a team...making everything smoother for everyone. Stress is running high, though, on everyone and I worry about my Mom. We do have a regular nurse and aide that stop by to check up on him, but the majority of the watch is our own.
To answer your questions, yes, he does seem happier to be home. I have been teaching him how to get around on his own in the chair, and he is doing very well at that...to the point where I had to make him promise me he would not get in the fridge until cleared by the nurses to do so. He still has to pass his swallow test.
We found an Aquatic Center that has "Wave Therapy", which we hope will help in taking those first steps.
All the nurses from the SNF miss my Dad, and have even commented that work is not the same without "Superman" around.
Donations and gifts continue to come in, in one form or another...and although it may be a little redundant at this point...I just cannot thank you enough. Those of you that are close to the family, I encourage you to mail, email, or call my Mom and continue to give her strength and perhaps a laugh or two....though the comedian in my Dad has not been hindered. He is alive and well, and despite what is going on...he continues to entertain his family and protect us from any pain.
We are officially at 4000 hits to the site. I never thought this would reach so many. Continue to read, as I will continue to write.
Much Love,
The Petrovich family.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday November 14th. "Home at last"
110 days and a few hours ago my Dad started this journey. This decision that would change his life and that of his family forever. 110 days ago he woke up much like he always would, perhaps a little more nervous than most mornings, but you wouldn't know if you saw him. He was more excited about hearing the positive results after the surgery. I was not there, but I can imagine he patted Jack on the head, and said "Be a good boy, Jack". The trip to the hospital was rather calm, according to my Mom. I would love to have known what was going through his head at that moment. Did he pay extra attention to the summer leaves on the trees? The sound of the birds chirping? The gorgeous blue summer sky? The smell of the fresh flowers cascading through their front yard? I am sure he took for granted the simple things, as we all do, that he now struggles with each day.
111 days ago was the last time I heard his voice, that voice I had grown accustomed to for the last 36 years (aside from the night I called my Mom at home and heard his voice on the answering machine.). I recall times sitting at work when my father would call me just to talk, and I would "scold" him from doing this, as it was distracting me from work. I would do anything for my phone to ring and hear his voice again.
I just called my Mom, and he is finally settled (back in his leather chair) at home. The ramp worked wonderfully, I was told. Jack is running around like a mad man dog....refusing to settle down. We have been training my Dad the last few weeks to say the words "Bad Dog!", as I am sure Jack has developed some bad habits since my Dad has been gone.
Before I leave, I wanted to make a small note of something completely bizarre that happened a few days ago while at his nursing facility. We gave him a dry erase board and a marker to write stuff down when he was either too tired to talk, or we could not understand him. I came into his room the other night, and he began writing sideways. As in, the letters. So imagine a map...you have North & South, and East & West. While all of us typically write "West to East", he decided to write out an entire sentence "South to North"....and quite effieciently and legible, I might add.
I asked him why he did this, and again "South to North" he wrote, "I don't know". Then he asked me to write something. I said what do you want? He told me, "anything"....so being a smart ass, I wrote "Anything". I was standing in front of him with the board between us, so that everything he normally writes would be upside down for me....so he grabs the marker and writes the word "anything" upside down to him, and right side up for me....again quite efficiently AND legible. I was dumbfounded. I told him to do it again, so he writes all his letters backwards going East to West. I asked him who taught him to do this, he said no one....and no one has seen him do this before. Finally he started writing West to East (left to right) again, and things went on as normal. Human behavior is just so bizarre sometimes.
Anyway....
My Dad is home.
111 days ago was the last time I heard his voice, that voice I had grown accustomed to for the last 36 years (aside from the night I called my Mom at home and heard his voice on the answering machine.). I recall times sitting at work when my father would call me just to talk, and I would "scold" him from doing this, as it was distracting me from work. I would do anything for my phone to ring and hear his voice again.
I just called my Mom, and he is finally settled (back in his leather chair) at home. The ramp worked wonderfully, I was told. Jack is running around like a mad man dog....refusing to settle down. We have been training my Dad the last few weeks to say the words "Bad Dog!", as I am sure Jack has developed some bad habits since my Dad has been gone.
Before I leave, I wanted to make a small note of something completely bizarre that happened a few days ago while at his nursing facility. We gave him a dry erase board and a marker to write stuff down when he was either too tired to talk, or we could not understand him. I came into his room the other night, and he began writing sideways. As in, the letters. So imagine a map...you have North & South, and East & West. While all of us typically write "West to East", he decided to write out an entire sentence "South to North"....and quite effieciently and legible, I might add.
I asked him why he did this, and again "South to North" he wrote, "I don't know". Then he asked me to write something. I said what do you want? He told me, "anything"....so being a smart ass, I wrote "Anything". I was standing in front of him with the board between us, so that everything he normally writes would be upside down for me....so he grabs the marker and writes the word "anything" upside down to him, and right side up for me....again quite efficiently AND legible. I was dumbfounded. I told him to do it again, so he writes all his letters backwards going East to West. I asked him who taught him to do this, he said no one....and no one has seen him do this before. Finally he started writing West to East (left to right) again, and things went on as normal. Human behavior is just so bizarre sometimes.
Anyway....
My Dad is home.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday (Day 101)
NOVEMBER 14TH!!!!!
Big day! Pops comes home!!!!
He has been very alert these days, and constantly asking to go to the casino, or for something to eat, or for some chocolate...it's hard to say no. He insists that he is ready, but we are hesitant.
Home life will be interesting now. Brad and my Mom will be there full time with him, with assisted help that my Mom is currently looking into. Matt and I will be splitting the week staying down at their place to help out however we can.
Halloween was fun....if you have been reading, you will know that my Dad refers to himself as Superman from time to time, so I rented him a red cape and my Mom had a necklace made with a metallic Superman logo. He had a bag of candy that he distributed to all his nurses, and their children.
They FINALLY put a DVD player in his room, after months of waiting. So, now a typical schedule is PT in the morning with Matt and/or Brad. (typically followed by a nap). Afternoons with my Mom. Evening 'workouts' with Brad and I, then a movie to cap the day. His writing and speech are getting noticably better...though we have noticed brief occurances of what seems to be a bit of confusion. I have not personally seen this, but it has been seen and we are keeping an eye on it.
I can't believe this weather. We just happen to have had the last bit of summer when throwing this ramp together for my Dad. It has been nothing but rain and frigid temps since then....but the sun shined wonderfully on that weekend. I find this strangely coincidental.
Brad and I will be preparing his new room this weekend. I can't wait till we don't have to go to that place he is at anymore. His nurses will miss him, and we will miss some of them, but the area is just not pleasant, and I worry about my Mom leaving there at night. One more week!!!
One more thing....thank you all for these wonderful comments!!!!! I will read them to him the first chance I get!
Big day! Pops comes home!!!!
He has been very alert these days, and constantly asking to go to the casino, or for something to eat, or for some chocolate...it's hard to say no. He insists that he is ready, but we are hesitant.
Home life will be interesting now. Brad and my Mom will be there full time with him, with assisted help that my Mom is currently looking into. Matt and I will be splitting the week staying down at their place to help out however we can.
Halloween was fun....if you have been reading, you will know that my Dad refers to himself as Superman from time to time, so I rented him a red cape and my Mom had a necklace made with a metallic Superman logo. He had a bag of candy that he distributed to all his nurses, and their children.
They FINALLY put a DVD player in his room, after months of waiting. So, now a typical schedule is PT in the morning with Matt and/or Brad. (typically followed by a nap). Afternoons with my Mom. Evening 'workouts' with Brad and I, then a movie to cap the day. His writing and speech are getting noticably better...though we have noticed brief occurances of what seems to be a bit of confusion. I have not personally seen this, but it has been seen and we are keeping an eye on it.
I can't believe this weather. We just happen to have had the last bit of summer when throwing this ramp together for my Dad. It has been nothing but rain and frigid temps since then....but the sun shined wonderfully on that weekend. I find this strangely coincidental.
Brad and I will be preparing his new room this weekend. I can't wait till we don't have to go to that place he is at anymore. His nurses will miss him, and we will miss some of them, but the area is just not pleasant, and I worry about my Mom leaving there at night. One more week!!!
One more thing....thank you all for these wonderful comments!!!!! I will read them to him the first chance I get!
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